Summer is supposed to feel lighter. Longer days, less structure, more time together. But for a lot of working moms, summer is actually the season they feel most stretched. The camp deadlines, the childcare gaps, the guilt of not being at the pool, the exhaustion of being the default scheduler while also trying to work. By mid-July, you're not relaxed. You're just holding your breath until September.
If you feel worse in summer than you expected, that is not a failure of gratitude. It's the structural reality of modern motherhood colliding with a season that no longer comes with a built-in break.
Why summer is so hard on working moms
For most of the year, school provides a scaffolding everyone depends on. In summer, that scaffolding disappears. Someone has to figure out where the kids will be every single day — and in many families, that someone is still the mother.
- Coordinating camps, sitters, family help, and vacation days like a logistics puzzle
- Working from home while kids are bouncing around in the next room
- Guilt over screen time, missed outings, or not being the 'fun mom' you imagined
- Financial pressure from extra childcare costs on top of an already expensive season
- The expectation that you should be grateful because 'at least the weather is nice'
The invisible load doesn't go away in summer. It just changes shape. And because the culture tells us summer is a vacation, it can be harder to name that you're actually drowning.
The exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix
A lot of mothers in New York and New Jersey tell me they feel 'tired but wired' by August. Their bodies want rest, but their minds are still running through the next week's schedule. This is the same nervous system dysregulation we see in burnout and high-functioning anxiety: a body that has been on alert for so long that it no longer knows how to turn off.
If you are sleeping but not waking up restored, if you feel short-fused with your kids, if you are scrolling in the evening because real rest feels impossible — those are signs your system needs more than a weekend off. It needs support.
What actually helps (not just during summer)
You cannot solve summer with a better spreadsheet. The real work is naming what you need, lowering the bar on what you expect from yourself, and building support that doesn't depend on you being the one who holds everything.
- 1.Name the gap. Say out loud: 'I am expected to work full-time and parent full-time, and the math doesn't work.' This is not complaining. It is accurate.
- 2.Lower the bar on enrichment. Kids do not need every summer day to be magical. They need a safe adult, some unstructured play, and enough food. You do not have to be the camp director.
- 3.Share the mental load with specificity. Instead of 'Can you help more?' try 'Can you handle the camp drop-offs and the snack shopping this week?' Ownership matters more than effort.
- 4.Build one non-negotiable reset. It doesn't have to be a spa day. It can be ten minutes outside with your coffee, a walk around the block, or five slow exhales before you walk in the door.
- 5.Get a therapist who gets it. A perinatal or women's mental health therapist can help you untangle the guilt, the burnout, and the sense that you should be handling this better.
When to reach out for support
If the thought of another unstructured week makes your chest tighten, if you're snapping at your kids and then hating yourself, if you're fantasizing about running away — even briefly — these are not signs you're a bad mom. They are signs that the load you're carrying is too big and that you deserve support.
"You are not supposed to make summer magical at the cost of your own nervous system."
Eden Root Therapy is a virtual practice for women across NYC, New York State, and New Jersey. We work with mothers, working women, and women navigating burnout, anxiety, matrescence, and life transitions. If summer has you feeling like you're barely holding it together, a free 15-minute consultation is the gentlest place to start.
